The key to improving your financial picture

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I want to share something that I think is so key if you want to change the financial picture of your personal and business life. How often do you think about being in relationship with money? It is easy for us to grasp human relationships; yet, we live our life within the context of relationship to everything, don’t we? In addition to our human relationships, we can understand our relationships with our precious pets, and hopefully Mother Earth, as well.

What kind of relationship do you have with money, your finances? It is interesting to consider what you might need to do to improve your relationship with money. The quality of this relationship could be keeping you from realizing the success that you really want. It pays to look at what kind of a partner you are with money. How do you feel about money? Is it your friend, your business partner? If you answer “no” to either question, please read on and reflect for a moment who you really are with money.

Think of how we create new relationships with people. Don’t we take the time to learn all about them, what they do, what they like, what they need, etc? We resonate with people who are like us. These are the people that we trust, that we want to do business with, and that we want to spend time with. Notice how easy it is to pay attention to the important people in your life. Are you in ‘right’ relationship with your close family members and friends? Think of how you are with someone that you do pay a lot of attention to and that you are very grateful for. Do you feel the same with your money?

Since the way we do one thing is the way that we do everything, look and see what kind of a relationship partner you really are with the people close to you. Would you want to be in relationship with you?  Be honest with this question. The answer could be very revealing and critically helpful if you want and need to change your relationship with money. I invite you to particularly recall some times when things haven’t gone well with people, when conflict was present. Were you fearful and controlling, did you avoid the issues by ignoring the fact that there was a problem, or did you pretend that all was well? Rather than being open and constructively addressing what wasn’t working, did you get caught in the habit of blaming and shaming? Just look and see. Your financial relationship depends on it!

In the case of money and finance, it is all too common to blame the marketplace or the economy, etc. when our bank accounts go dry and our credit lines diminish. I have heard this countless times. By having no perceived power in the situation, somehow we are excused from taking responsibility and exercising our power to change things. The good news is we can exercise our power by first becoming consciously aware of who we are in our relationship with the energy of money, and then by deciding to make a change with who we are as a relationship partner.

Since money is energy, it responds to our attention, or the lack thereof, just like people do. When we give negative attention to something, we will get that something back in an adverse way, i.e. frustration with your debt and bank balances and thinking there’s never enough will deplete your bank balances and increase your debt. What would you do if you were around someone who rejected you or was frustrated and angry with you most of the time? How often would you want to be around someone like that? The energy of money is no different. Perhaps it is time to befriend money and include it as a business partner in your financial affairs.

Wealth Practice # 19

1.) Look at your resistance style when there is conflict in your relationships. Do you play the blame and shame game, do you distance yourself and dismiss or avoid the problem, or do you pretend everything is okay when it’s not?

2.) Choose an opposite response to be when conflict arises, i.e. mindful and attentive; accepting and resourceful; open, honest and truthful. Now, practice being this way with your current finances.

3) Choose 3 things that you know you need to address regarding your finances. Be a rich and caring partner with your money and address the issues using the opposite response you have chosen. Take action immediately from your new way-of-being.