Weekly Words of Wisdom Q&A: Guidance, Direction, and Truth
For the conscious, heart-centered business owner, entrepreneur, and professional who is most likely working way too hard to BE the best that they can BE.
Master certified coach, Judy K. Katz, your manifesting and attraction authority and mentor, answers your most pressing questions for creating a life of meaning and purpose while enjoying wealth in all areas of your business and personal life.
This week’s question comes from Donna who resides in Canada.
Time and time again I have tried to rebuild a relationship with my mother. My mother left our home when I was 15 years old. I have been on my personal healing journey for many years and have included her in my life on and off however I struggle with trust.
My adult self says I understand, I forgive and I know you love me. My inner child screams if you really love me…then why did you leave me. How do I learn to fully trust? Lack of trust prevents me from opening my heart completely. My desire is to love and trust whole heartedly.
Donna, with mother’s day coming on Sunday, I find your question extremely timely, and I thank you so much for this rich and important question. Attempts to reconcile your head with your inner self, your feelings, and your memories, will be one of your greatest challenges, no doubt. I commend you for holding the intention to do so.
The truth is, I believe that your desire to forgive and to trust wholeheartedly is a desire worth listening to. It is your Soul’s desire. Your inner child experience is a perspective from yourself at a very young age, as I am sure you know. As a child, of course, it was nearly impossible for you to make sense of the fact that your mom left you. It is incredibly painful to consider. Your young mind needed to make sense of what was happening back then.
This is where you made a lot of decisions and you vowed something very important. Your vow was intended to protect you from this pain forever more. This is very normal, yet, vows are very powerful. They can, and often must, be changed.
If you really think about this further, you also made some decisions about yourself, as well. Children tend to blame themselves rather than make their parents wrong when they face difficult situations. This actually ensures a greater sense of security and safety.
I would recommend that you first and foremost discover the vow that you made to yourself as a result of your mom leaving you. And secondly, ask yourself what you made this mean about you. Again, these decisions were the very best and most normal way for you to “deal” with the fear and pain of your mom leaving. You had to make sense of this as best as your little self could.
Once you have discovered the truth of what you vowed and the identity of who you believed yourself to be, you must come to accept that you are the one that made this up. It is now your privilege and within your power to decide to change your vow and to change who you think you are. Perhaps, and I’m taking an intuitive guess here, that you vowed never to really trust anyone again. You might have decided that you do not deserve to be cared for and loved.
You see, if you are now willing to build trust and allow it into your relationships as a possibility, not just with your mom, but with others, both personally and in business, you will come to know how rich the power of trust is. Trust is not only something you feel, it is mighty power in your life that attracts love and prosperity.
There are two types of trust. Knowing the distinctions between the two will help free you from your resistance and fear. It will give you options to work with.
- Blind trust is what we have as little children for our parents and elders. It either is or it isn’t. Once this trust is broken, that’s it, done, gone forever. When blind trust is broken, we tend to vow that we’ll never trust again!
- Authentic trust provides the space to build and then rebuild trust when it is broken. The beauty of this type of trust is that it allows us to be human with each other.
Authentic trust contains 5 elements that will give you something to work with in building and rebuilding trust.
- To know that someone genuinely cares for you, not just for themselves
- To know that the other is reliable
- To know that the someone is sincere in what they say
- To know that someone is competent to do what they say they will do
- To know that another is credible, believable
Decide which of these you now have with your mom and which ones you and your mom need to generate. This must be accomplished by having a conversation with your mom or anyone that you need to build trust with. You must clearly define the parameters for each element to be fulfilled, never assuming that you know.
I celebrate your decision to bring the power of trust into your life!
My best to you for all of the success and joy that you deserve!
In love and abundance,
“Dream it, own it, and make it REAL”
P.S. This is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I’ll personally respond to a question that I believe in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish.)
It is my heartfelt intention that, in answering your questions, I will provide you with perspectives and Universal Truths that, when adopted and applied in your life, will set you free to attract what you want from a place of abundance and inspiration, rather than urgency and desperation.
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