Weekly Words of Wisdom Q&A: Guidance, Direction, and Truth
For the conscious, heart-centered business owner, entrepreneur, and professional who is most likely working way too hard to BE the best that they can BE.
Master certified coach, Judy K. Katz, your manifesting and attraction authority and mentor, answers your most pressing questions for creating a life of meaning and purpose while enjoying wealth in all areas of your business and personal life.
To submit your question, please go to www.judykkatz.com/sage-advice
This week’s question comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
I am about to be promoted and I will have an opportunity to negotiate my salary. I am not looking forward to it because when it comes to negotiating for myself, I always feel like I’m asking too much and they will laugh me out of the meeting. The irony is that if I were negotiating on behalf of someone else, I would fight for them and come out of the negotiation with more than expected.
I realize that this is a textbook case of not valuing myself but I cannot seem to get out of this mindset, and I need to get out of it as soon as possible. I know I have to value myself more, but do you have any insight on how to do that beyond just telling myself that? Thank you.
Congratulations and thank you so much for reaching out and asking for assistance with being able to successfully negotiate a generous raise for yourself. As you mentioned, you are consciously aware that this is a textbook case of you not generously and truthfully valuing what you have to offer; however, just knowing about your deep-seated beliefs is very different from being in touch with them at an emotional and cellular level, which is where transformation occurs.
The truth is this is really a relationship issue. I say that because we live our lives within the framework of relationship. In order to change your experience on the outside, you must change your relationship, in this case, between yourself and your employer, on the inside first.
So how exactly can you do that? That is the million dollar question, so please take note of what I’m about to say. You have stated that if you ask for “too much,” they will laugh you out of the meeting. Well, who are these people anyway! If they mock you or belittle your request, what kind of people would they be to work for!
Having had my little rant, the truth is, you are projecting your own reaction to what you perceive yourself to be onto others. What if you saw them differently other than superior to you? Yes, they are your employers, yet, they are people. I have had clients with similar concerns as yours. It is not uncommon at all to experience a breakdown anytime you are about to up level your experience, in fact, you can expect it.
Here’s what I have my clients do and what I invite you to do as well. This exercise works at the subconscious level, which is where the transformation needs to occur.
- First consider that the person(s) you are negotiating with take showers the same as you, they put their clothing on the same as you, they experience fear and worry the same as you, and they want to be loved the same as you do. See them doing regular activities. Please don’t just consider that this is true, see the images in motion. Then smile! 🙂
What I am having you do is to see you and the other(s) as equal human beings, not “things” that can be measured, bought, and sold. You all have feelings, desires, fears, concerns, and aspirations. The problem is not with your perceived value in general; it is with your perceived value in relation to others that you have decided are better than you.
- Second of all, imagine that these people want you and that the company needs you. See smiles on their faces as you enter the room. Keep the images of all of you equal in size. Keep the experience friendly and easy. Bring colors into the picture if you can.
Seeing images that depict how you want your experience to go will keep you out of your head, rationalizing and justifying your position, which becomes the “fight” you described earlier, the fight that you believe you would do for others.
Here’s another important question. Do you believe you have to fight for what you want and deserve? Is that really true? What if this idea is a lie that your past conditioning taught you to believe? In fact, that is true. It is a lie. To get what you want, you must come in peace. Peace brings understanding, which brings cooperation, which brings happy endings.
I’ve had clients get huge promotions when they worried they would be overlooked, get jobs they really wanted, end conflicts between people that had lasted for years, and the list goes on and on, just by doing this simple exercise repeatedly until they felt peaceful about their challenge and reduced their intimidation.
I can’t impress upon you how powerful this simple exercise is, but only if you do the work with the intention to “BE Equal” to others as human beings. You may need to practice this many times before your meeting. You will know you are there when you don’t “have” to have the raise or believe you have to fight for it any more. You will feel centered, determined, and at peace with what you are asking for.
We are what we practice. You most likely have been practicing inferiority to others when it comes to money for many years, so give yourself the time and attention to this new way of being for yourself. This is what, I believe, is the real point to your challenge!
Just remember, when it comes to doing things from logic and will power versus what you subconsciously believe, what you subconsciously believe will ALWAYS WIN OVER, hands down, every time!
This is a quest well worth making. I believe, it is your soul’s desire to do so. It is a MUST if you want to live the life you were born to live and to be the grandest, prosperous YOU that is YOU!
For additional help in up leveling your experiences to match your desires, please consider purchasing my Make It REAL: Turn Your Unbelievable Dreams Into Believable REALities NOW audio/workbook home study program. See and learn more in the Courses Library.
My best to you for all of the peace, abundance, and joy that you deserve!
In love and abundance,
“Dream it, own it, and make it REAL”
P.S. This is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I’ll personally respond to a question that I believe in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish.)
It is my heartfelt intention that, in answering your questions, I will provide you with perspectives and Universal Truths that, when adopted and applied in your life, will set you free to attract what you want from a place of abundance and inspiration, rather than urgency and desperation.
Simply submit YOUR pressing question to Weekly Words of Wisdom Q&A: Guidance, Direction, and Truth
P.P.S. Would you like to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care about who is stuck, challenged from set backs, or who is struggling to make significant improvements in their business or personal life? If so, I would very much like to help them, too. Regardless of their predicament, their question will help many others who might be struggling with a similar challenge. This is true for you, too!