Lately, have you been experiencing people who are annoying you to the point that you become impatient or defensive with their issues? Do you just want to resolve your conflict with them? No matter how difficult these people seemingly are for you, did you know that they can show you where your triggers and blind spots are?
I know, it is tempting to believe that other people are really creating your problems. Believe me, I do get that!
It is quite normal for us to fall prey to our subconscious victim energy when we become triggered by others. Your inner self talk might sound like this:
- They’re doing “it” to me and they have no right to treat me badly.
- They’re making me angry, sad, or frustrated.
- The other person shouldn’t be acting the way that they are.
- I would feel so much better if “they” would just change.
- Why do I always have to be the one to change?
- The other person is definitely in the wrong. After all, my friends (family) agree.
Do any of the statements above sound familiar to you?
What makes you unique is how you personally react to other peoples’ bad’ behavior. Did you know that your reaction creates your future experience with them? Are you aware of how you respond to someone who has violated your values, expectations, or needs? Are you indignant, defensive and guarded, or do you shrink and blame yourself? If you recognize yourself in any of these behaviors, your survival, fight-flight system has overtaken you.
The truth is, your victim energy is a perspective; one that we all possess. This perspective leads you to believe that you don’t have the power to change your circumstances; that other people or situations have power over you. It can lead you to be protective and ‘on guard’ with others. Unfortunately, this fosters distrust in yourself and others.
While it feels right to be this way, being guarded and defensive will breakdown your relationships considerably. And, if unnoticed or unquestioned, this way-of-being can create serious consequences over time, consequences like internal stress that leads to sickness, feelings of hopelessness and despair, all of which can lead to poor decisions and distressed work performance.
The truth is that your experience of a situation depends entirely upon your inner beliefs and past conditioning.
Things happen, yet, how you are impacted by them is all about your inner beliefs and habits. (This is where you want to breathe.) The habit force of your survival patterns,which are fueled by fear, must be recognized, accepted and let go. This is not accomplished in a one-time event. It happens repeatedly over time with the practice of self-awareness, acceptance, and choosing to be your authentic Self.
I find that when I am ready to release an old limiting, habitual, fearful pattern, I tend to experience more troubling people and difficult circumstances. These troubling situations and people reveal my deep-seated beliefs back to me. I think this is nature’s way of helping me to know myself authentically, as opposed to identifying with my conditioned self.
It does make it easier to see and release the victim pattern when it surrounds you. You can then remember who you really are in the first place – a free, powerful, accepting being of love, power, and prosperity.
I invite you to choose someone that is currently rubbing you the wrong way. How are you feeling with their behavior and how are you reacting to them? Then, do the following:
- Accept that their behaviors are about them, and that your reaction to them is about you. What do you notice about your behavior? Are you defensive, indignant, or blameful? Identify your resistance to the other person or circumstance.
- Establish what is really important to you. What is it that you are really wanting: more power, more respect, acceptance, etc.?
- Identify the beliefs that are causing your inner conflict. What is your victim saying about you? Become aware of the habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of your personal victim energy. See them for what they are. Be willing to let them go for a truer, more loving way-of-being!
In case you missed this special, complimentary offer and you would like some immediate help with your inner journey to uncover your hidden victim energies and their associated beliefs, behaviors, and emotions, please sign up to receive my complimentary e-book, The Emotional Roadmap to Freedom workbook, a simple guide to awaken and access your natural state of choice and power.
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This inner work is inevitable if you are interested in becoming free from your reality of being stuck in a power struggle and not receiving what you want. This will become a new way of life if you want to live from your true authentic power and experience the relationships, prosperity, and the soulful fulfillment that you were born to live.
Love & blessings,
Judy K. Katz, MCC, RScP, author