Last week, I introduced the shocking notion that forgiveness is good for your health, wealth, and over-all well-being. It may not have been such a shocking idea to you; yet, in my experience of working with hundreds of people over the years, this topic has been a very controversial one. There is often a misunderstanding of what forgiveness really means. Many opinions have been voiced about the practice of forgiveness. The truth is, some are freeing and some just keep us stuck. I am addressing the energy of forgiveness and the powerful affect it has in our life.
In the past, I believed that if I forgave someone, I condoned their behavior. Since there were certain behaviors I just couldn’t condone, I remained right as long as I stayed angry or resentful. I used my anger and resentment in feeble attempts to punish others and myself for that matter, in hopes that I would force a change in behavior or that I could ‘even the score’ with revenge.
I don’t know about you, but that never worked well for me in the long-term. My ‘opponents’ either became pleasers to get my acceptance or they rebelled against my pressure or manipulation. I was never happy within these relationships, and I never seemed to have many happy relationships either. Fortunately, I woke up to the possibility of forgiveness.
True change never comes from force and manipulation. It is not authentic and real. This type of change, if any, only lasts as long as the pressure is on. Have you ever tried to lose weight from being mad at yourself? What happens when the pressure is off? Do you fall back into your old ways of eating again! This is the recipe for yoyo living at its best. This shows up in our finances as well. Refrain from spending, then, splurge to reward!
We can learn about ourselves from our anger instead of being over-taken by it when our expectations are not met or we experience challenges with others. Our outer conflict often mirrors our inner conflict between the Truth of who we are and the lies we have come to believe. Using anger, fear, or resentment to handle life’s difficult circumstances is truly a choice. There is another option for power besides the adrenaline that comes from our automatic reactions of fight or flight. (We have evolved from our ancestors who fought to survive from the saber-tooth tigers.)
If you’re struggling with the practice of forgiveness, you might be challenging your automatic fight or flight reactions. Do you really need adrenaline to survive your challenges? There is no right or wrong answer here. There is merely a decision to be made about what works best. I invite you to stop and consider the price you are paying if you are using anger and resentment as your energy source of power to get what you want and need.
I didn’t consider this for years. Consequently, I paid a huge price for being right. I remained stuck in my loneliness, I was drained and unhappy. I lived the experience of recreating myself as a victim in so many of my relationships. I finally woke up and made the decision to see the Truth of myself as a lovable and powerful human being who has the power of unconditional love on her side, not an unfortunate victim of her circumstances.
The practice of forgiveness is a practice that has changed my life, upside down, inside out, and right side up! I believe it is worth a fortune to live the rich and loving life we were born to live! The practice of forgiveness can transform your life too! The time is NOW!
Wealth Practice # 30 – Forgiveness, The Decision, Action
- I invite you to see your challenges as opportunities to grow into the greatest, grandest version of who you are. Pick an outer conflict that you currently have or have had with someone in the past. Write down a possibility that the open energy of forgiveness will allow for you.
- Make a decision to improve your life by living from the power of unconditional love. Imagine that you are telling someone, for whom you cannot forgive, that you no longer need to fight or be at war with them. You are now choosing to live by the power of unconditional love. See yourself putting down the sword and embracing the power of love. This is the love that has created the Universe! Not a puny power for sure!
- Cultivate the energy of non-resistance and forgiveness by using this imagery for yourself as well. Forgive yourself for your feeble attempts to control and manipulate you in order to create a changed behavior. What is possible for you by forgiving yourself fully, by letting go of controlling and manipulating yourself?
Remember, we are what we practice.
Keep wealth as a priority and remember why you want to be wealthy.
“Dream it, own it, and make it REAL”