Have you ever been around someone who complains about things or judges others far more than you care to listen? It is so easy to spot this type of speaking in other people, isn’t it? How do you feel listening to them? Does it drain your energy? Can you sometimes see their point, yet, listening to them just makes you weak? I’ve certainly been the recipient of this type of conversation. It can be difficult, particularly when these people are close to us and we care about them, or we have to work with them on a daily basis. Either way, we have them in our life.
Not only can this type of conversation affect us emotionally, it becomes our energy field if we resist it or get caught up in it. Now, this becomes a bigger problem than just getting emotionally drained. The Law of Attraction is always paying attention to what our dominant emotional experience is. Our primary communication to our subconscious mind is with our emotions. If we fall victim to these conversations, we will attract more complaining and judging around us. Before long, we will find ourselves engaging in the same kind of speaking, probably about the person that is draining our energy!
So what can you do if you find yourself stuck in these undesirable conversations? First of all, what do you do? Do you get caught up in agreement and become an ally with the complainer because their story is so valid? Or do you dismiss their concerns and become indifferent to the other person’s plight? Or maybe, (here is mine) you try hard to fix the issue for them. Maybe you attempt to change their perspective and urge them to think positive! How did that one work for you? I know it doesn’t work for me at all! No one wants to be corrected when they need to be right! Have you noticed?
There are three (3) things that you can do (be) that will help you maintain a non-resistant emotional energy field when you find yourself within the powerless victim energy of another’s blaming, complaining, and judging. Be ECO friendly:
1.) Be empathetic
2.) Be curious
3.) Be open
Being empathetic is to understand and honor where one is in the moment. A common belief which underlies the behavior of complaining suggests that there is nothing one can do to change their situation or someone’s behavior. They are powerless. If you or someone close to you shows up complaining or judging a lot, remember that you or they have been hijacked into the fight/flight mode of conflict. Fear drives the speaking and wants to be heard. Anger wants to control and force things to be better.
Be curious about what you or the other person just wants. This is a great antidote to the belief that one can’t have what they want. However, be vigilant not to engage with, “What I want is for the other person to change!” This is very common and is consistent with the victim’s cry. Instead, you might ask, “What do you just wish you could do? This question suggests that there is something that could be done. It might not feel doable in that moment; yet, it can change the direction of the conversation.
Be open to your own power in the midst of these negative conversations. You can ask for what you need if this person is looking for an emotional dumping ground. You have the power to excuse yourself and not fall prey to the other person’s anger, which wants to control you. In the case where someone is stuck in their victim energy and has no interest in taking any responsibility, you can express your understanding, affirm that you are confident that they will figure this out, and excuse yourself from the conversation.
Managing your emotional energy field when you are in the midst of another’s conflict takes practice. It can also be useful to be curious and open to your own habits of speaking, particularly if you seem to be attracting a lot of complaining or judging people around you.
Creating a wealth consciousness requires us to affirm that we are powerful beyond measure, we live in a Universe of possibilities, and we can create the experience that we want.
Wealth Practice # 17
1.) Do the ECO friendly practice with people that want to engage you in having negative conversations. Do this with yourself the next time you catch yourself blaming or complaining.
2.) Cultivate the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude is one of the highest keys to the wealth consciousness kingdom! This practice will evoke the same from others around you. Write what you are grateful for every day, and be sincere!
3.) Speak what you are grateful for to others. Let this become a dominant conversation that you have with others. Share the wealth!
Remember, we are what we practice!
Keep wealth as a priority and remember why you want to be wealthy.
“Dream it, own it, and make it REAL”