Are you frustrated with the yoyo effects of this pattern?

Audio Available

Do you have a competitive nature and become energized by the thrill of winning? This is true for many people, yet, for many others, competition stops them cold. The idea of winning and losing is appropriate in sports. That is the nature of the game, someone wins and someone loses.

In working with hundreds and hundreds of people over the past 15 years, I have noticed something very disturbing about super achievers. While they’ve had a competitive nature to some degree or another, the compulsion to win, particularly in business, didn’t always serve them to get what they really wanted. Many appeared to be “winning” at their game in business, yet, they longed for a deep sense of security, acceptance, freedom, and peace, regardless of the rise in their bank accounts or the public recognition they received for their achievements.

Do you work hard to improve yourself in order to keep up with your fellow colleagues or your business counterparts, yet feel exhausted and unfulfilled? This isn’t always easy to admit, yet, if you are blinded by this cycle of pain, it can rob you of your money, peace, health, and your overall sense of well being. Competition can be a cover up for an underlying pattern of negative comparison and critical self-judgment.

I’ve created a phrase that describes what we do when we feel we have to keep ahead of our friends, business colleagues, etc. It is “Small trying to get Big.” That pretty much sums it all up, doesn’t it? Who likes to feel inferior (small) to someone else? I’ve yet to meet anyone that can tolerate that feeling. How about you?

Thus, we create ways in which we try to look better (big) than what we believe ourselves to be (small), in our own eyes, and seemingly, in the eyes of others. The illusion begins. . .

There are multitudes of ways in which this insidious, resistant cycle plays out in our lives. Problem is, it can only oscillate from small to big, and back again to small. We never truly feel equal to others or good enough (big), no matter how hard we try. Do any of the following behaviors and beliefs look familiar?

• You deny yourself pleasures that you enjoy having or doing.
  • The belief: If I give up my needs and assume that other people’s needs are more important than my own, I’ll be a better person.
  • The payoff: Then I’ll be accepted.
• Not speaking up about what is not working and identifying problems.
  • The belief: If I don’t speak up about what’s not working, the other person(s) won’t get upset and feel bad.
  • The payoff: Then I’ll be loved and accepted, and I won’t be alone.
• You expect too much of yourself, particularly if you are learning and growing in areas that are new and uncomfortable for you.
  • The belief: If I act like I know when I really don’t know, I’ll appear to be on top of my game and successful.
  • The payoff: Then I’ll be admired by others; I’ll be wanted, accepted, and valued.
• You refuse to ask for help from others when you get stuck.
  • The belief: If I figure things out on my own, others will perceive me to be capable.
  • The payoff: Then, I’ll be highly valued and wanted by others.

These examples are some of the most common that I have seen over the years. I am personally fond of a few of them myself! You might discover one that I haven’t mentioned.

So, what can you do about this “Small trying to get Big” cycle when it shows up in your life and robs you of your ability to go beyond where you are now, not only financially, but in all areas of your life? Of course, awareness is the first most critical step to realize a transformation. (You can’t release or stop subconscious patterns that you are not aware of.)

Wealth Practice # 43 – from oscillation to moving forward:

1. Choose which of the four (4) cycles of “Small trying to get Big” that you most identify with. Be honest. Identify exactly how you are playing it out in your business. i.e. Are you refusing to spend mone’y on yourself or give yourself time to play and relax? Be as specific as you can.
2. Make a decision that stopping this yo yo pattern is a # 1 priority. Do one thing in the next 24 hours that you have not done in the past which represents the behavior of someone who is equal to others. i.e. If something is not working or there is a problem, speak up and address it. Take time out for yourself and go for a relaxing walk. Treat yourself to something that you keep saying “No” to because you don’t ‘need’ it, etc. Ask for help if you are stuck. Admit you are a learner and accept that you don’t know how to do something very well.
3. Affirm daily: I am equal to my fellow human beings. I have fears, they have fears. I learn and stumble, they learn and stumble. I am growing and improving every day; they are growing and improving every day.

Please contact me to schedule a free consultation to discover your next most powerful steps to move forward and break out of the oscillating patterns that are keeping you from experiencing the lifestyle you want in your business and in your personal life.

Remember, we are what we practice.

Keep wealth as a priority and remember why you want to be wealthy.

“Dream it, own it, and make it REAL”

Judy K. Katz, MCC, RScP
Master Certified Coach, spiritual mentor